Saturday, June 7, 2008

Answered Prayers...I Think??

I have literally prayed and prayed that I would be ready for this move....that my heart would be changed and accepting of what is ultimately going to mean living 1800 miles away from most of my family and friends. This is not the first time that we have faced a move.. but nothing of this magnitude. Before Carson was born, we were preparing to move to Mississippi, I was here in Amarillo waiting for the house to sell. Who knew that Carson would be born and 18 months later, Wayne would still be working out of state. At that time he had transferred to Kansas, and we were still waiting for the house to sell. We lived that way for over 3 years, Wayne in one state and I and later Carson in Texas.
Then in 2004 Wayne was hired at Bell Helicopter and all thoughts of moving from Texas were gone. I truly was happy! I am a Texas girl through and through. My parents are here, my sister and her family, my brother and his family are all in the same town and literally five miles apart. The only holdout is my other sister and her family... but at least they are still in Texas.. they are in El Paso.
I guess what I am saying is that now that we are down to the wire with this move... I keep waiting for the reprieve... you know something to happen and Wayne would come back here. I really don't see that happening.
We have all made choices in our lives that ultimately affect other people. For some reason choices I have made have ended some relationships. I never intended for that to happen. But if I was honest... it makes things a bit easier to leave. I consider myself a very loyal person and will do anything within my power to help a friend. It hurts me when friends make a clean cut and move on. I realized that God is preparing my heart to deal with this separation that is coming. I am slowly understanding that although relationships here are ending....He has so much more out there for us. He is such a loving and faithful Father, wanting only the best for us in all that we do. Right now it looks like we all need a fresh start... and it really looks like this time it is really going to happen.


Kassie said...

I know that it is going to be hard to just move away and to lose all of those close ties. But you are right there is more out there waiting for you. I will always be a phone call away or an IM away. Hang in there things will always work out as they sould be.

Nicole said...

I am sorry you are having heartache over this!! I will be facing this same situation in August. Leaving my hometown, family, and friends and the only place I have ever lived. You are a strength to me and have really great words of wisdom and advice. Thankyou and I will keep you in my prayers!

Nicole Martin

Amanda said...

I hope you know that you will be missed. I have said time and time again that you were the very first person who made us feel comfortable at PCF. You took Sean and made him comfortable which was a huge thing for us. I want you to know that we will miss you and I know that God is placing your family where he wants each of you.